The unrealistic expectations of adulthood?

Can we talk about why adulthood is so unrealistic for a second? I know this kind of strikes you as a not so serious topic but the experiences we've been through we could build a giant transformer out of it and like conquer worlds and shit. I need you to hear me out on this one and take all my experiences as well as your into account. Once again this is a narrative and the names that can be used will be changed.

Now lets talk about me in the real world for a second. Im just gonna flat be honest I'm a mess, I don't know if I'm coming or going half the time and that makes sense because paying bills send me into a weird tailspin, I don't know how or why. It's definitely confusing, its like went from trying too stay in the lines when we color too or dear god deductibles and taxes. That right there is enough too throw anybody off. Just like all the fucking paperwork. My first real experience in the adult world was that of getting a place and getting a job sure the applications were easy but its like the looking and the waiting and you gotta know what you want to do and all this other junk. Where does that all leave us? Tired, confused and all of the above. Its like we want all these things but it sucks the life out of us to actually get these things, we are willing to do the work but then we end up regretting it to the fullest.

Now me at the time being the naive little lost unicorn I was, I worked my way through life and dealt coped with anything that came my way. Did it always work? No not really especially when I got a gob and my entire life was run by corporate demands and 8hr shifts full of verbal abuse and mediocre paychecks. Just like everyone else my first job was in the hell pit of the fast food industry, and that of a corporate monster. It was hell and I hated it but when my paycheck was regularly coming in it all made sense and grinned the best I could and I dealt with it like a true adult. I always got some type of satisfaction from it. It actually made me feel good about myself  to have a job and work hard because some of my friends didn't work but thats besides the point. The point of it was I had established myself in the real world and it felt good. Till the next set of problems arose.

Now might I add that I worked in a different part of the state then my job and that I had to commute back to back but to nip that in the bud in the beginning, I moved closer too my job, but how did we manage that? Apartment hunting thats how, well not even an apartment more like a room share. I remember that search it was agonizing and everyone had these different expectations and wants and needs and it really sucked that I couldn't meet them because at the time I had a lot of baggage, I had a cat, a roommate and a lot of self doubt at the time. Nobody really wanted that at the time and that was fair because no one really wanted to share their house and I don't blame who would want a stranger living with them. Craigslist was my biggest component at the time because I really didn't know where to go or how to find a place at the time, I barely got my job and I was trying to manage both because on top of that I was using my boyfriends car at the time to get me and my roommate Eva around at the time. Now keep in mind that we were trying too find a place in the same vicinity as my job and that in and of itself was indeed hard enough.

When we finally did get accepted into a place it was with an old man and his daughter, and everything seemed cool at the time. The old man was nice and his daughter bored but nicer, so me and Eva  figured okay great lets just take it, because we gotta start somewhere and we had to move it along since my new job was coming up quick. So within a week and a shit ton of multiple trips we were and living there was great and it felt good too almost be living there on my own. So after that I figured okay life must be going nowhere but up, however managing job and stress and a whole bunch of roommates who wanted too party everyday was getting increasingly annoying and that included the people at work as well. However I toughed it the best I could and I ran with it Even when me and Eva had our falling out.

From there I did the best I could because tension started too rise from the old man and his daughter we had disagreement after disagreement, about work rent, and what I did with my spare time and it made me so mad, that I was I was ready to just quit my job and go move back to where I came from, but I was tough and I stuck it out not for the wonders of adulthood but for the fact that every now and then I got a visit from Jake. The kind of visits that will Forever be in my mind. I was getting increasingly close to him and he was more comfortable being with me at the time. He at the times right up my alley because I felt like he had such adult experiences that he was leading me in the right path. However it seemed like he tried to always feed off of my income which was from job at the time. Every month or so I feed into his needs and money waiting for just so I can have him standing in the same and touching me for 30min or less.

Thats enough to insight too tell you about how my relationships were going on in the background, now let us focus on something more like bills and tickets. At this stage in life errors on my part became conflicted and what I mean is I was just learning about speeding tickets, child support, court systems, taxes and everything else and it was just hitting me all at once and it was making me crazy, it made me feel like I was suffocating and not  fighting hard enough to get enough air. It scared the hell out of me and I would always push things off for later and pretend I was too busy to get back to them and that was the way I liked it at the time. It wasn't helping in fact it was almost like it was making things worse and keeping me farther behind. I almost wanted too blame my childhood for why I couldn't keep up in the real world. I wasn't taught how too keep up and the what the problem was, if I had of learned this shit earlier I would have faired out better and would have at least have my own apartment and the ability to keep up at a regular pace. Why are we setting kids up like this, why is it all going to shit as we speak.

While I was busy tying to figure out what answers to grieve and what pictures to take. I couldn't help regretting grow up at this point, its like all the nostalgic years fell off somewhere. Like our imagination didn't matter anymore and it made me sad, we don't realize how cool it is being a kid until we grow up and the paperwork kicks in. I didn't know about car tags or, registration fees, or deeds and how to sell the car if you didnt want it and all that other stuff but what I did know is if I didn't start  getting it together I was gonna always be behind and I didn't want to be behind, I wanted to be successful Like everyone else. It didn't really work out that way but we could always pretend it did.