Who was my first ever role model? That's a good question, that even I don't know the answer too that at the time, which was crazy because just about every kid had a role model. Someone who could really change the world for them, and for the longest I didn't really have that and initially it did bother me because everyone had someone. Trust me I put time in and spent my time searching for someone who understood and appealed for me. Most of them were made out of my imagination but they all went rouge and it didn't work out well. It was a lesson leaned because a lot of my family especially my sister who thought I was losing it and made sure I went too see a therapist. To be honest I started feeling crazy. Like crazy, crazy and I'm not even sure what that means.
Lets talk about me as a role model myself. I don't really influence anyone because no one really like me. In school or at home, so that horse was already shot in the face. As far as I know I wasn't the type to have any influence, I always felt inferior. Weather it was Intellectually and all of the above. We all know theres someone somewhere doing everything better then us and theres nothing we can do about it in that case and I guess its up too us just kind of keep up the best we can. Now correct me if I'm wrong but not all of us are leaders. Why would we want to be? Think about how much work actually goes into that. Its not for the faint of heart and that's why I always told myself that leading people was never for me. The closest thing too a role model I guess was for all of my imaginary friends who I accumulated over the years but no one could see them but me so I guess I wasn't really making a difference. The closest thing too a role models in the real was world was to my baby niece at the time and that was the closest thing too a little sister that I had at the time and I guess you could say I made an impact on her in the long run. I liked video games even though I wasn't good at it but initially it rubbed off on her and that was the crazy thing.I'm still proud of it too this day.
Okay now we get too 2008, and the greatest woman who could ever exist came into my life and that is the beautiful Ms. Underrated might I add Lady gaga. She popped on the scene with just dance and it was literally the weirdest thing I ever seen on the planet! (among other things). Ans weird as it was I was in love and I was absolutely obsessed with her! Top to Bottom and I mean from her music to her clothes to her videos, to her stage presence EVERYTHING she was about was me. It was absolutely gold, after that I knew that was my role model and that something about her was going too change my life forever. The beauty of it was that she was something out of this world and not everyone liked her but the ones that did held her close as I did, and it was like this huge misunderstanding and that's what I fell in love with I guess, it wasn't something that was understood at the time and it really isn't understood now?
Here's what I knew, I knew this women had a message and she made me feel like I could actually like myself. That sounds rough I know but you know being young that's what it was at the time. We were all insecure and didn't know where we were going tomorrow, or the next day. Now as an adult I'm still in the same spot I guess you could say, that isn't the problem though, the problem now is that maybe I'm not tall enough for life. Is that my fault or the role models? That's something we need to reflect on ourselves for a moment...the idea of a role model is too shape and get our life on track right, too initially steer us in the direction of success, but how come we all don't end up successful too some degree? Do some of us just have better role models or is it us as a person who's fucking up. See now were asking the big questions. Do we have answers of course not no one ever does but then again theres' nothing wrong in that region even though there are other in the background who will tell us it is?
Now my skills as a role model were put to the test once again, but this time as an adult and boy was I still as lost as I ever was but at least this time I knew what too say. So a very close family member called me because they needed a tiny bit of help of getting their kid encouraged to continue on with school. As a Pisces my whole world is feelings so it was my time too pour my heart out and really make a point. It was crazy because it happened and I did it, I gave encouragement which sent me spiraling into tears but at the end of the day I wasn't sure if I got anywhere but I never got a call back, but I dint let that get me down in a million years and that's the beauty of it for the first time. I felt super secure and happy and the I finally realized this is what being a role model is about. Encouraging not just shaping and steering! Look at me grow from mediocre to whatever this new age thing is! Get out there you guys and change the world I guess.
Lets talk about me as a role model myself. I don't really influence anyone because no one really like me. In school or at home, so that horse was already shot in the face. As far as I know I wasn't the type to have any influence, I always felt inferior. Weather it was Intellectually and all of the above. We all know theres someone somewhere doing everything better then us and theres nothing we can do about it in that case and I guess its up too us just kind of keep up the best we can. Now correct me if I'm wrong but not all of us are leaders. Why would we want to be? Think about how much work actually goes into that. Its not for the faint of heart and that's why I always told myself that leading people was never for me. The closest thing too a role model I guess was for all of my imaginary friends who I accumulated over the years but no one could see them but me so I guess I wasn't really making a difference. The closest thing too a role models in the real was world was to my baby niece at the time and that was the closest thing too a little sister that I had at the time and I guess you could say I made an impact on her in the long run. I liked video games even though I wasn't good at it but initially it rubbed off on her and that was the crazy thing.I'm still proud of it too this day.
Okay now we get too 2008, and the greatest woman who could ever exist came into my life and that is the beautiful Ms. Underrated might I add Lady gaga. She popped on the scene with just dance and it was literally the weirdest thing I ever seen on the planet! (among other things). Ans weird as it was I was in love and I was absolutely obsessed with her! Top to Bottom and I mean from her music to her clothes to her videos, to her stage presence EVERYTHING she was about was me. It was absolutely gold, after that I knew that was my role model and that something about her was going too change my life forever. The beauty of it was that she was something out of this world and not everyone liked her but the ones that did held her close as I did, and it was like this huge misunderstanding and that's what I fell in love with I guess, it wasn't something that was understood at the time and it really isn't understood now?
Here's what I knew, I knew this women had a message and she made me feel like I could actually like myself. That sounds rough I know but you know being young that's what it was at the time. We were all insecure and didn't know where we were going tomorrow, or the next day. Now as an adult I'm still in the same spot I guess you could say, that isn't the problem though, the problem now is that maybe I'm not tall enough for life. Is that my fault or the role models? That's something we need to reflect on ourselves for a moment...the idea of a role model is too shape and get our life on track right, too initially steer us in the direction of success, but how come we all don't end up successful too some degree? Do some of us just have better role models or is it us as a person who's fucking up. See now were asking the big questions. Do we have answers of course not no one ever does but then again theres' nothing wrong in that region even though there are other in the background who will tell us it is?
Now my skills as a role model were put to the test once again, but this time as an adult and boy was I still as lost as I ever was but at least this time I knew what too say. So a very close family member called me because they needed a tiny bit of help of getting their kid encouraged to continue on with school. As a Pisces my whole world is feelings so it was my time too pour my heart out and really make a point. It was crazy because it happened and I did it, I gave encouragement which sent me spiraling into tears but at the end of the day I wasn't sure if I got anywhere but I never got a call back, but I dint let that get me down in a million years and that's the beauty of it for the first time. I felt super secure and happy and the I finally realized this is what being a role model is about. Encouraging not just shaping and steering! Look at me grow from mediocre to whatever this new age thing is! Get out there you guys and change the world I guess.
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