I failed at tests, cooking, quizzes and now drug tests.

Now if you look farther into who I was you will come too find that at the time I wasn't really out partying of going out with my friends and things like that. I was sort of what you call a square, a good girl, a potential spinster. I wasn't the girl that the cool kids wanted too hang out with. That was okay, I had my own formula of friends at the time. It wasn't working really and I was getting bullied every other week but still I was making it. Now take that same girl today and ask her too pee in a cup after a party week with a friend zoned crush and his family, and her wild and satirical co-workers and see what she does.

Now take it at this point in time that I was working in a fast food establishment three cities away. Fast food was horrendous from the critical managers, tedious routines and variable customers. It was my first job at the time so it was kind of exciting. I felt like a real adult, in the beginning though, as the weeks went on I turned into a soulless shell of a person who wasn't committed too anything except quitting her job. The only thing that I found interesting in the first place was when we would get new hires. It was fun in a way, you get too pass down all the tips and tricks you learned and the relationship hierarchy of the crew and the perks they all get per group. 

Where did I fall in, in a category of a hot head, perfectionist, and a teacher. That all was working great and I ad it together, I got a car and I had friends who I hung out with every weekend it was great. I guess you could say that I felt like I fit a normal social standard. The weirdest clique I got was an interesting mix. We had Sarai she was this, full figured, energetic, bad girl, gone good. She had the soft voice nice hair and this sort of stuck up personality. Girls like her usually didn't like me so it was a surprise because she fell in with this one new hire Luis. Luis was a cool guy, he got high, borrowed money, didn't get stressed out at work, and the type of humor gang member find funny.

It was too long when we started hanging out and getting high across he parking lot at a local Jack in the box. We sat out on the benches aside and smoked  until we got lost in our thought. Surprise was, that nobody ever caught on too me like they caught on too him. Everyone was always like "you aren't bold enough too do all of that Luis is a bad influence stay away from him". None of that ever stopped me, and we got more and more intense. He taught me how to do my very first dab in my car with his friends, and we did it every other week. Everything was great, I was mellow and I wasn't lashing out management about their emotionally damaging leadership skills. No one saw a difference really. They saw the same conservative girl who followed every ones lead.

I stopped feeding into it because my love story in the background was starting too take an impact on me. I had my own car so I started out going too go see my friend Leo. I had met Leo when I was seventeen at the mall because of a cool slipknot sweatshirt I was wearing. We talked, he sang me a song, and we have been friends ever sense. The one thing you do have too know is that Leo had fallen in love with me and we had a falling out over it. From time too time I would send him dirty pregnancy photos just too cheer him up, Yeah I wasn't the greatest person in the world at the time. We did end up making up and became friends after that and we started hanging out at his dads place. We got high everyday with my then ex girlfriend Charlie from middle school, who dated me because my tits were the biggest in math class.

The big thing then was that we did was wax dabs and we got so high all we would do, is talk in circles, get hungry and make plans. Now everything was going fine so good that Jake had opened up his weed edible business and we would get hopped up on those most of the time and stare into space. Leo was great guy he's traveled, and has a real developed sense of humor, who can be open with his feelings at any time . The only problem was Leo wasn't my type, the way we would argue and stuff made me feel like we wouldn't have worked. He was devoted and I just wanted to rebel against the childhood I never had, I was also at the time committed to Jake even though we weren't really a thing.  It wasn't the worst thing I have ever done.

Some days I was getting too high and we would get too handsy and fuck in his tool shed. Yes!! I know I am making bad choices at that point, everything was fun and I never wanted it too end. Plus from what Leo could pull, I knew would be downgrading from all of his previous girls. I wasn't prepared for that plunge as my self confidence was slowly repairing itself. So started focusing on life in the background which wasn't going self, I found myself in short term debt with my car and my friends. It got so bad I had too dabble in the cycle of the payday loan, I crashed and I burned. I was trying too keep up with Jake and the cool kids. I decided to get a second Job. The first one I landed I blew it, I being new too the world of drug tests and MRO officers. I half asses drowned myself with water trying too dilute my pee as much as I can since at the time I was in debt and I couldn't get a top of the line solution. 

I diluted it the best I could and I pissed in that cup with the utmost amount of confidence, the only problem I held that confidence up until 3 days later when I get the phone call that I failed. I had too use the excuse that I didn't know the brownies had weed in them. I remember first feeling like my energy was ruined, but that I moved up on the social ladder, and for once my title would change. It did but not really for the better. I felt like a dumbass to be honest. I mean I really needed that job but I can't keep up at times. I learned from it. It was a weird experience and it was definitely one of the more wilder experiences I have had.