We always hear the saying that nothing compares too your first love, Nothing will ever be as sweet. I was a skeptic at first until my first love actually came around. I was a mess to be honest and there was another cute boy every other week who I was going too marry. However one day there was one particular boy in the hallway that made me feel like suffocating in heavy syrup. In this narrative we are going too call him Reilly. The only person who was as half as odd as I was.
Daniel was a really interesting kid in school. He was quiet, with stunning green eyes and a dark sense of humor. He was two years younger then me and all I can remember is he was dating my friend Noel. Every morning I would see them sitting in the hallway and I would skip by really obnoxiously until he noticed me..He had these amazing eyes and all I could do is lay on my bed most days and just think about them. The conversations we would have in the hallways forever replaying in my mind during the day. I remember I was always making it a point to carry a conversation with him. Time went on until we got into high school and it was starting to be weird. Daniel and Noel were over and all she did was bang the freshman. Meanwhile I am in the background throwing myself at Daniel.
I was a mess I tell you, I wrote poems about him and I would post all day long on my Facebook and it was like he became an obsession. It was hell on earth when we both were in high school. Its like we gravitated toward each other. Some days I catch him in the background of my day eyeballing me from a distance and some days he caught me doing the same. That wasn't the problem, the problem was that we were two totally different people. It turns out he was very sex hungry and that he contemplated suicide every other day. However I developed a fascination with him the I just couldn't shake, even if he was telling me that he didn't like me because I was annoying and too weird. I grew thick skin and I chased him day in and day out. I know he hated it and Noel wasn't really paying attention, he just wanted too be back I her arms. All though a few months later we found ourselves kissing and never speaking about it. We are getting somewhere I thought at the time but I am usually wrong in most cases
It took me a little over four years too crack this kid, and the day came after a dinner show I performed in and we were all standing in the lobby talking and Daniel found the time too creep up behind me and hug me from behind and we kind of stood there in the moment and I remember he turned me around and kissed me. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me aside from being into bondage videos. Apart of me thought this was a plow into my feelings and that he was just messing with me. The other part of me believed me and him were actually going to be a thing from this point on. Which we were, and everything was what I thought it would be. We got too know one another intimately and we were close like best friends.
I got too that stage where I spent all my time on him, we weren't having sex just yet but there was the occasion hand job under the trees. The most iconic thing about that moment was one day Jake caught us from a distance and that provoked him too message me the way he did. I didnt think he was ever going too be a factor so I paid him no mind. I was a senior I high school at the time and he was two grades behind, there was a point in time where he didn't see himself with me at this point, and he called me a mistake and told me how it was a stupid decision dating me. So he called it off. Leaving me too put myself back together in the worst way possible. I didn't now where I went wrong but at the time he was to busy putting solace into my then enemy who use too be a close friend. They were together everyday but I put up with it and I played along. After all she was always after my sloppy seconds.
They took pictures together and they talked and always made out near or around me. It was disgusting too see it all over Facebook but I dealt with it. My chest hurt everyday and I found new ways too distract myself from it, I wasn't eating or sleeping properly. I was in love and I wasn't prepared. I watched all those romance movies and was never introduced too heartbreak. I guess that wasnt just something you could be prepared for but I was a trooper. I pulled it together and I finished strong. The crazy thing was Daniel was at the graduation and looked at me in a new light, We met each others family and things were moving in a better direction. We ended up spending a whole summer together and caused lots of trouble.
I would sneak through his window and hide around his apartment from his dad and step brothers. Most of the time all we did was have sex, other days we sat and talked about the wildest things, from hallucinations to family troubles, to drugs and the occult. It was some of the greatest conversations I was having in my teens at the time and I felt enlightened. I wasted all my time with him and it was great. We were getting into trouble very other day simply because he would invite me over and I wasn't supposed to be there. I would get kicked out and walk a few miles home too think too myself. Everything went well despite that this one time on his birthday I went out with him and his family to this beautiful restaurant and all was going well until Daniel started to pick a fight at the table a little bit. I poked him in the leg with a butter knife too get him too stop. From then on he looked at me as if I killed someone. From then I was banned from his house since his brothers found out what happened.
I seemed really lost and distracted after that, I found me to be heartbroken once again by the same person and all I can do most days is take longs walks and shook it off. It was the worst thing I ever felt. Theres nothing like putting all that time into a person just so it can dissolve right before your eyes. Being in love hurts and we just don't know what to do with ourselves when it all comes crashing down. He had broken my hear twice and it was the cruelest thing I ever experienced. However I was getting into trouble with the kids on the block. So I don't really think of him most days.
What was too come down the line was that every relationship I was in after that could never measure up to what me and Daniel had and how strong of a friendship we shared. He was the first person I ran too after Jack started hitting me, and he was always there even after. Not many are lucky enough to have an ex like mine. Especially one that reminds you he's still in love with you but also reminds you of why you and him can't be together. It was supposed to last forever but all good things come to the end. I never really understood why there wasn't a last love. It was bothering me because maybe if we find our last love we can compare that to our first love and see what made the bigger impact. Until then I guess its all written in the stars.
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