Hello everyone, My name is Andeigh, I use to be called "Annie" but the kids at school use to get my name wrong but oddly enough I felt more comfortable running around as Andy as it felt more honest. I couldn't be "Andy" around my family because it wasn't very lady like and that wasn't my name, ever since then all I did was conform to it even though it lead me along down road of unhappiness .
Somewhere along the line I stumbled across an artist named Andy Warhol and ever since him and his art I had a completely new outlook on the name Andy, however that didn't stop my family from letting me be me. However I hurdled on and I kept on my way. From then on I learned I like heavy metal and long guitar solos, I guys in girl clothes and the rocky horror picture show. I expressed weird ideals and I had a lot of love for everyone in the world, I was discovering myself and I was into girls but also had to keep that a secret.
I was keeping up quite well, at least I thought I was. I was always feeling left out and I hadn't made very many friends who stayed around. Puberty was kicking in and next thing you know I'm meeting guys on the Internet to have conversation and I'm falling in love in the background. Family was a weird place but I am doing the best I can. I was keeping up in school and I had a pretty good outline of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I even had weird crazy innovative ideas but once again my family shot them down.
I couldn't dress how I wanted to dress or wear my hair the way I wanted to, I had to stay in the house and only got to play outside in secret. The only fun place to go was then movies but that got old really fast and I felt bad for my sister because I did. I was horny and learning real hard lessons at the time but I made it as fast as I could. The world was weird and I just wanted to see it. By then the world is falling apart and next thing you know we were moving and I was upset with a world being told without me being there. I kept moving forward and I grew even though I wasn't getting any taller and it was impressive if you ask me.
I didn't see myself go anywhere but up, I got myself in weird situations along the way and I came to learn what real human beings are, and that was a dire lesson indeed, Next thing you know I graduated From school and I was already out of the house making bad choices but I kept going for the better. Next thing you know I'm watching my family fall apart and form back together again, on the sidelines I was doing the best I could but I found myself in a hopeless relationship that would soon go bad to worst at a moments notice. However before that I was twirling around in infinite bliss and I kept moving forward the best I could.
Now I want you all to notice key things, a lot of this is focused on my desire to do what I could even if that only meant my best. Its very receptive and ugly I know, my ideals changed and I opened my eyes up to the world. I saw everything for what it was and all I could do was breathe in and keep my eyes open. I had a car and a shadow and that's all I needed to become one. It was a scary place out there but I was definitely satisfied with where everything was going.
It all came spiraling when it turned out I was pregnant with my first kid, onto of that the relationship was physically killing the both of us and it took this so called thing called "family" to pull me out of the situation. I felt so disconnected but they were there every step of the way and they were always there when I needed rescuing. Although I still look back and still get sour at some of the things that went on I guess you could say that happy disposition is at a stand still and now im feeling more alone then ever but who's to say...This too shall pass.
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