Real life happens, I guess you could say its the order that it happens that makes the magic.
Happy New Year!
Andeighs' Perspective is making a huge comeback! This year we are going to be more consistent, thank you for those who have stuck with me this far!
I know I haven't been the greatest blogger lol but I still believe in what I started. Thank you so much for not giving up on me just yet!
Heres to 2023 and continuing to grow and be better versions of ourselves! Look for a new post every week, this time I'm going to take it slower and keep myself motivated!
Fairly interesting post this is going to be as usual the legal disclosure still applies.
While I was out hopping around and experimenting with different industries, I stubbed across a rather modest job. Though it wasn't really that modest and I kind of already knew of the place as my boyfriend used to be employed there but he never really worked the warehouse he was a delivery driver so thats what made the difference. I gave it a shot because it was something new and the only thing I truly knew of when it came to laundry was washing my clothes at home. This was the same thing except in a more industrial level and the type of laundry was hospital laundry. Little place in Manteca doing big work. The pay was low but I figured Id still try it out. I wanted to try the whole "pay doesn't matter its about how you spend your money". It worked for a while till I really started my job I was looking at the most gruesome things and even though I dint have a weak stomach and I have worked in a hospital type of setting it really wasn't that bad compared to what it could've been if I didn't already have that lead way.
I feel like I needed more then 15.80 if I'm sorting heavily soiled laundry. Not too mention we are in the middle of a pandemic so the volume was crazy. Another thing the rules were pretty rigid they didn't give you any room to be a bad worker and I think thats due to a micromanaging corporate system. For example you couldn't be anymore then 2 min late coming back and when break was over you have someone in there watching to make sure everyone leaves at the same time. It felt as if even though you were late taking a break your still had to cut it short just keep up with everyone else. They wanted everyone in unison It made you feel like you couldn't even take a bathroom break, that ifs you left something behind you couldn't got get it without risking being late. There were eyes everywhere and its like if you stopped working no matter the manager was he would come and coach you. It was pretty annoying sometimes it doesn't matter how nice you are, the frequency of how often you are appearing for what reasons is frustrating.
The scheduling was also a little strange in my personal opinion.Theres only two shifts morning and swing, but they work you 12hrs sometimes 10 if they have enough people and the workload isn't that heavy. That also depends on what side you come from if that makes sense. So if you worked the clean side you got off earlier, its that type of thing. Overall the work wasn't too bad. I did wish there was more to it and there was more of a challenge but it wasn't, all we did was sort and Like I said it became monotonous. The people are an entirely different story, the audience was older and there weren't too many youngsters like myself everyone I met was at least 40 and up. The youngest person that I met she was 22 and it was refreshing sometime to have someone you can talk to but she worked the morning shift so we didn't see too much of each other. I also had the luxury of meeting her mother. Both were very nice and definitely enjoyed the work. That energy I didn't mind.
Now not everyone was nice of course there a couple of people who were dead set on making sure I had the most annoying day possible. It didn't help that I was trying to be the very nice coworker who worked hard but kept to herself. So I wasn't trying to make waves and be on bad terms with anyone. I was trying to make this different from all of my other jobs. However there were people like Alice...people who worked hard, who were social and management favored. She started off friendly but over time I noticed a change, she would size me up every time she saw me and when she would talk to me I could see through the fake smile on her face. She left the worst items to me and when it came time to her needing help, she was always so quick to walk away when I got there, but when it came too others she would talk to them. A lot of the time she left to go to the floor to sweep up the mess and to collect the items that didn't make it into the bags and to collects the carts that were fulls and replace them.
Didn't seem like much but when there's someone already down there doing it she would still go down there and she would strike up a conversation leaving the rest of us to do the harder and more gross work. It was pretty frustrating because we worked on a conveyor and sow we had to air the laundry before it reached the end of the line and it ended top in the trash. Sometimes it happened and sometimes they would fish it out of the trash but most times they didn't. It was based on what type of mistake you were making. Most of time we would throw away the things that were way too soiled to be washed. My point is that she would leave at the absolute worst times and when it came to us getting overwhelmed she would kind of just stand there. You can put together where that type of thing is frustrating.
Another individual who tried to make it a harsher experience, for now we will call this person Rosalinda, Rosalinda was in the upper middle ages and she had a good group of friends and she was very good at her job. Too bad she found me to be the most annoying person on the planet and after working with her for a few days I seen a drastic change in her body language. She wouldn't really talk to me and the only time she did it was to scold me when I dint sort something the right way. I noticed she wasn't like this with anyone else ad I didn't know what to do. I was as friendly as I could be too her and thats because I dont argue with older women. I truly feel lie there's no point too. I just let them have it their way and I let them think they're winning. The purpose of this post isn't to slander anyone its to show how coo workers can make it hard in the workplace just as much as anything else and I wanted to shine some light on it.
I thin k the most inqsteresting person I met was the Janitor, he had a cool vibe he was like Lenny Kravitz mixed with Bob Marley. He was surely eccentric and lovable. He was the one who pointed out to me that there weren't many black people who worked fir the company and it explains why he latched on to me so quickly. I was working around the holidays so it was a lot of family talk. He even got me a lunch box. I didn't get him anything back but he didn't want anything. He also made sure I Packed a good lunch and that I had someone to talk to whenever we had the same break. He was my first real friend in the workplace. ut over time things got distant. I guess corporate noticed how friendly we were and somehow we weren't talking the same breaks anymore and the only time we had to talk was in passing. It was quite unfortunate. He was nice enough to get me a lunch box for Christmas, pretty dope.
I would definitely say that this was the most unproblematic job that Ive had in a while and I wanted to get the lighter stuff out of the way. One highlight was that I did manage to meet 2 really cool people before I made my exit. They were a black couple we will call them Rhonda and Sean. They were nice and we all connected really quick, and they too pointed out to me that there weren't too many other black people. They also touched on how they were treated a certain way a lot of the time. I was a witness to that, every time me and Rhoinda were on the clean side pillow sheets it was like the supervisor would pop out of nowhere and too tell us to make sure we keep up with production. Me and Rhonda were relatively fast so HIS POINT really heals no weight to the both of us. We were directly next to each other and we always had plenty of work laid out before us so there wasn't really a delay. Plus what made him kind of questionable to the both of us, when he pulls out a group picture of his friends.
Seemed harmless, now let me add the supervisor was Hispanic and the photo he showed was group of men of similar ethnicity except the one black guy off to the right half of the photo. It was crazy that at the same time I had that thought about the individual black guy, my supervisor brings him to make a point about how the man was his best friend, he also includes that he wanted to make that point so we didn't feel like he was being racist in any way. It wasn't something that really crossed our minds...well not at least until he made that point. I almost wanted to remind him that, just because you have a black friend that doesn't mean you aren't racist...It simply means you have a black friend. I didn't `want to burst his bubble as he seemed really proud of himself. Me and Rhonda looked at each other and just left well enough alone. We laughed about it on break.
The conclusion to this is that it was too rigid and eventually had to make my departure. I personally felt the work and the hours didn't reflect in the pay, would I try it again? I mean maybe, i'm just not at that point in life currently. Now thats out of the way lets talk about something more fun in the next post where I got fired for waiting for a bereavement leave...
happy new year! Lets start there 💚
Im back! Well I guess you could say that I never left? Anyways I want to take a second to talk about something aside from the usual workplace bullshit! Let us take a second and another to talk about work place defenses...and what I mean by that is how we ourselves navigate workplace conflict? No this not one of those weird work place orientations and im not a teacher to lecture anyone, things like that so breathe!
let me take a second to pick myself back up as my dumbs likes to take hiatus and what not. Lets start with asking ourselves what we have learned about diffusing workplace conflict? You know aside from what they tell us in these awkward policy books that they keep sending home with people that no one reads. I am quite sure some of you have even taken these policies and went home at the end of the day and wiped your ass with it. So from all that what did we learn other than...we can't punch our co-workers because they decide they were going to be annoying, we learned we can't ignore our superiors because well they are our superiors, we learned that we have to be on time even if it kills us...Sound familiar?
Yeah okay whatever let me tell what they ere really saying in-between the lines, they were saying don't be late because you're manager is going to be late as much as they want and there's no point of bringing it up without retaliation, they're saying you can't punch your co-worker in the face even though, he's a racist and has been making comments all week, they're saying follow the dress code except for the girls and guys who they like and who are going gain a huge amount of positive attention, they're saying bring a fake positive attitude to work, they're saying come be miserable the entire duration of your shift, they're saying leave your problems at home even though they truly meant you.
They're saying take the lies of your jealous co-workers in stride, they're saying workplace friendships are off limits because , that gets in the way oof numbers, they're saying waste time by looking busy and sweep the floor a couple of dozen times. They're saying you're always going to be wrong even when you have clear evidence that you were right, they're saying they need all of your time and energy, they're saying having fun in there workplace his off limits , they're saying for every day off you will be punished with the workload over and over again, they're saying even though you're right and you can back it up you're still wrong, they're saying take the fall for other worth's they have more of an interest in but dont want to fire ...Should i keep going? I know its a lot to take in but count how many time you had a boss that showed favoritism, or you heard workplace gossip that was racial and sexist to other workers?
Count how many times you were alienated by rules or the way a task was done. Called out in a group meeting by a simple mistake, being talked to about your attendance but you're always seeing your manager come in late, not being able to do much when you start getting followed in the work place and picked on. When you go to HR but they are part of the same team and it docent stop, how far do you go before you decide that enough is enough? Do you wait a fe months? If you're anything like me you probably give to about a year and just keep doing the best you can until they call it quits with you. I want to say that it was a lot easier said than done. Some jobs I absolutely had to walk away from, and I think most of you can relate right? The type of job that interferes with your dignity and what not.
For the most part if you really think about it what can we do? I mean we have those cases where we abide by the workplace rules but still in turn no good deed goes unpunished and its absolutely sick of you ask me. I deduced it too that a lot of these people work long hours and they get so bored and so distant from their usual lives that they come to work and they project these negative insecurities and these negative mindsets and they use it to control whatever weird satisfaction they get, however that's just the tip of the iceberg if you ask me. These concepts get deep...for example what makes a liar at work per se? is it the need for job security? Is it that the individual just isn't compatible with some of the other workers? That same question can be asked in a sense of what exactly makes a kiss ass? Like have you really thought of it outside of the fact that the person obviously wants to be there long and to move up in the workplace. Once again it can actually get deeper than that? However what time do we truly have to sit down and apply these concepts?
Thats not even fair because most of you weren't given a lot of these tools. I think that's what makes it more of a headache if you think about it. However you can't truly say that either because sometimes you can give some the fundamentals but what's the point if their mind isn't open to it and they want to be stubborn? I think we shouldn't chastise certain behaviors, for example if my boss is telling me some dumb shit that I can't she off I don't think anyone should be punished for walking off and taking a minuet. Small things like that prevent altercations, I don't think its a punishable work offense to defend yourself even if its one against the whole office, I believe everyone has a voice but you know you don't always get the time to speak, especially with the type of people who like to hear themselves talk.
I fell like, if anyone feels like their boss or team lead is accusing and constantly picking on them why is it super problematic when the individual decides to speak up about it? Like why does it always cause a wave in the workplace, I get we all have jobs to protect but lets sit down and get serious for a moment, even if you had a job, explain to me this...was it worth it coming home everyday from your mediocre job feeling like shit for base pay, was it worth giving up your dreams and your dignity as person, for a place thats putting your replacement through orientation, or how did it feel to bust your ass for those long hours jut to end up completely unappreciated? If you can justify to me these things, then I am more then willing to back off and be wrong I guess you could say. However somewhere within that I know that Im not wrong.
This is not about being lazy and not wanting to work because thats majority of us right? No one truly wants to work, and if they do they don't truly want to work for someone else. However its always going to be looked at that way, anyone leaving a job over conflict of interest with their work peers will be told unfortunately by someone in their life that they were just being silly, too sensitive to the situation, they shouldn't want to quit just because someone at work is being an asshole. Ive gotten this far too many times, Ive had people tell me that I need to change my mindset and attitude, however even I can prove that none of those things indeed work. Ive had jobs where came in everyday with a smile on my face and still was treated like nothing, Ive had jobs where I was the kiss ass and tried to build favorable positions with superiors. All at a fail, that quickly goes out the window when someone decides that they just don't like you. It goes out the window when someone is more willing to throw you under the bus.
The point I am m trying make here, is why in this life we make ourselves lesser in the workspace. Why do we let the ideals and opinions of others in the workforce determine who we are at a new job? I think we have a tendency to forget that we didn't leave the bullies in school. They're everywhere. Sure you can job hop but thats sweeping the problem under the rug. These things will never change unless we go out of our way to change them ourselves. So next time you're at work and your job is going out of its way to remind you that are something less then yourself. Tell yourself that, that job is dime a dozen and that you will be okay. Don't stop defending yourself.
Hey everyone its bee awhile but Im back with another workplace narrative. I know I have been away but I have been giving this job some time to sink in and within two and a half moths it has already started to go downhill. So I think we are all aware of the disclosure notice? Names and things will be changed to protect the privacy of the actual people. Although I don't think this will be using any names....All right here goes!
This job has been quite the rollercoaster and somewhere within this I don't actually know where to begin. Let us start with the company, Minghua, a little automobile company located in Fremont Ca. I don't have anything truly positive to say about the company and no that's not me just being a hater thats literally me analyzing the entire warehouse in them last two and a half months. These are the things that Ive seen and experienced forehand so there's no fiction. The work is tedious the people are terrible and there's nothing within it that makes me want to even remotely stay there.
I am a quality control inspector and the entire point of my job is take Tesla bumpers and make sure that the production team is following their process. Sounds easy right? Well It should be but its the management that makes it so difficult to work there. No to mention that the turnover rate in that place is crazy. I see new faces everyday and its incredible how fast you can move up and how much of a snake you turn into in that type of environment. I think of the people they're not much as robots but more like idiots in their own right. A bunch of people who have nothing going on at home, so they come to work and project that. It is bad and it does a lot of good people a negative. It definitely doesn't want to make anyone want to stay any longer then three months I guess you could say.
Of course when I first got there the vibe was great and I wasn't feeling too bad about the place, however that's how it starts in any new place or thing you do. Everything is always great at first but it takes time for the bad the things to set in and it takes time for you to truly understand the environment around you and how some people move in the workplace and how their actions affect others. My lead for example short girl who thinks she knows the job inside and out. I will leave her race out of this as I don't want certain types of opinions formed about her. She was hard to get around and she followed me everywhere so I always felt watched but I made it through the day and usually I have no problems with her but lately it seems that she has been out to get me. Since I guess you could say I am no longer her little lackey to go around and do the things she didn't want to do.
Ever since she came on its been like I have to do her job and mine even though she gets a good bulk of the work done but its that thing where she is over complicating the job and working herself into stress over simple errors of other human beings. I try to turn a blind eye and let it go but it gets annoying because she finds some way to drag me back in. She has me baby sitting other workers. Whenever something goes wrong I get blamed first hand even though there are so any of us. When I make a single mistake I have to get a 10 min lecture every time while the other workers she lets stands there and brushes off. I felt accepted and picked on and it was weird. I was doing my best to conform to it and deal with it but each day gets harder and harder and I honestly feel like one day I am just not going to show up anymore. I have better things I could be doing with my life.
Let me take you to the actual situation that happened tonight so you can get straight to the idea about what I mean. I get there at work and everything is cool, for the most part I am not in the best of moods so I have been kind of keeping to myself most of the night. I was very stand of is and I wasn't going out of my way to talk to anyone. The energy in the workplace was bad not including the fact that we had a previous issue but I will be taking a different time to discuss that. Everything was fine and I was minding my business, my team gathers too the table and we are instructed where to go. I was sent what we call after polish. What I do there is basically inspect the bumpers that the after polish people put out. Its very tedious and its very boring but I do it. Today in particular already started off weird. There were no after polish pairs put out so my lead literally had me standing around waiting for more. As I did let her know they were out.
First she runs around and talks to another associate after that she runs to back and takes a defective bumper too the back. Once she come up front I stop her and let her know that I am still waiting for the paperwork. She looks at me and says okay and walks off again, this time into the direction of the computers up in the from of the warehouse. That was fine because that's where we usually print them. I wait there another few minuets just for her to come back and tell me that there was nothing to print and that there was nothing she could do. So after telling me just to adjust another sheet, I walk to the back and I start standing there. By this time there were a few bumpers sitting there so I write them down, the pace was slow so there wasn't a whole lot going on and there wasn't anything to really do. Within I get approached by my co worker who has once again decided to annoy me with conversation even after I told him several times that I dint want to talk. Next thing you know I take off and I go to the bathroom.
Wasn't in there any longer then 5 minuet as the janitor who so conveniently standing there in the break room eating chips told me to hurry up as he has to take his lunch break, so I am in and out. On my way out of the bathroom I notice that the annoying coworker and now my lead were standing there by my station, once I get in close enough range for my coworker to notice me he whispers something in her ear and promptly walks off. Next thing you know my lead is chewing me out over why I went to the bathroom without informing my peers. For the most part I ignored her because I felt like I had too. I felt that if I told her that he wasn't there to tell and that she was too far away she wouldn't have believed me and that shew would have still in some way found some way to fault me.
I still continue to stand there and I guess you could say I ignore her. Once again I explain to her that there was nothing on the racks and that me leaving didn't hurt anything but of course once again I was faulted. She takes my sheet and hands me an actual photocopy of the original after polish sheet that she had told me earlier that she didn't have. I was increasingly frustrated and I wasn't sure what to do about it. By this time I do my rounds and it took no more to 5 to 10 min as I said there was no actual pace to go by. Next thing you know I see my lead come back to me and she tells me that she needed to speak with me upfront and by the time we are making our way there, the production manager buts in and starts walking to the office with us. I look at my lead and ask her what's going on and she told me that are all needed to have a meeting.
The bring me into the office and sit me down, by this time I am not saying anything because I was already upset at the fact that we ended up in the office in the first place. They sit me down and start explaining me that everything I wrote down was somehow incorrect. For the most part of it I wasn't actually saying anything and I just let them go on. It wasn't by the time they starting accusing me of doing it before did I feel the need to finally speak and defend myself. I also sat there and pointed out the fabrications in their story as they didn't have any proof to bring to to the meeting and they kept deflecting when I kept asking how they verified such information. After getting the run around and dicing that I am no longer going to engage in the discourse with these people I shut up and let then hear themselves talk. Within that the supervisor got frustrated and he pulls out his phone and he clocks me at 8:30 and tells me how insubordinate I am being and that I need to leave for the night.
So after being absolutely irritated I decide to give them what they want. Stand up and I freak out and scream that one of my relatives died and I storm out, and I go to the car and leave. Sitting there I ran back the entire situation and went over just fucked up it was. I then sent my lead a long text about how much her and Ali were being assholes to me and they should sit and re-evaluate how they handled that particular situation, I told her not to respond and to actually think about what she did.
So what's the moral of the story boys and girls? Its time to quit and move on to the next job lol was that too vague? C'mon guys I can't keep trying to come up with good morals some of these situations don't have any!!
Hey everyone! Im back to talk about some of the weird shit that I have been going through in my personal life for those of you interested that's great stay awhile. For those that are nosey...cool stay as long as you need. For those who could careless well...theres always that. I truly dont know where to start but im starting somewhere bear with me! Do I also need to add in the fact that names and some information will be changed for I guess you could say legal purposes?
Home life is just a headache at this point, parenting is kind of useless at this point but I won't leave it on such a negative connotation. Okay that whole start was kind of droopy but I will go into details. Look at me sitting here confused not knowing where to start but lets start with the matriarch of the house hold. She's kind of a demon and sort of a nuisance. Image trying to be an active efficient parent for your kids and like their grandparent is cockblocking you. I firstly imagined that grandparents were a happy healthy thing and that its a lot of love and support. Yeah I know I have to stop dwelling into these weak TV fantasies but who can help it right? Everything is better when its scripted.
Well no I can solely say that grandparents in this case are doing way more harm then good and I truly can't tell if they mean well or they are going out of their way to annoy the shit out of me. Some days it goes over well and I can kind of deal with all the dramatics but what I went through yesterday in particular was very, very, strange. Most definitely annoying to say the least. First let me say this if you dont have kids feel free to skip over this next parent because basically I have to give a run down on the situation and I dont want anyone getting bored or not being able to relate to the situation at hand.
Okay so parents with girls let me give you the run down right quick on what happened. Okay so imagine your 6 year old daughter throwing a fit because she doesn't want to do virtual school. So you're on stand by and you are trying to get the girls father to handle the situation but he's too busy trying to talk to your 8 year old who's off to the side giving attitude because he doesn't want to attend his morning zoom call. Image trying to sort the situation out the calmest and the best way possible just for it blow up in your face. AND I MEAN REALLY BLOW UP! So now that you have that scenario going I want you add onto it and what I mean by that is, imagine that your kids grandparent comes in and yells and you and calls you a child abuser all because you grabbed and spanked your daughter who was on the floor throwing a five year tantrum.
It gets worse because as you stand there and try and defend your point that its not entirely child abuse if you spank your child. However she's not from the same culture or principals as me so I can easily see where the disagreement lies. I dont like it but I deal with it, I do truly my best to hear her out but a lot of the time that goes left field. Not too mention that there's a generational gap between us so that plays a huge roll in not seeing eye to eye a lot of time and once again its one of the many things that I am out here putting up with for whatever reason.
Anyways back to the grandparent. This same grandparent decided that they are going to take it a step further and try and snatch your child away and then proceed to tell you that they will call the police on you if you dont stop and leave the house. Not to mention the tantrum throwing child isn't helping by screaming at the top of her lungs for then grandparent. So imagine yourself doing your best not to really lose your shit on somebody's mother. Not only are you trying to keep it together and try to shovel your way out of a shit situation you are also trying not to become the raging BPD monster that you are deep within.
Sorry to whoever felt like I took the third person personification too far, I have a tendency to get carried away and want to put other people in my shoes long as possible. Im looking to work out the issue in on someones couch in a doctors office but that is a later stage in life I guess, where I try and build deep connections with the professionals in my life, because god knows I have to stop using cashiers in grocery stores to vent my every emotion downplay and bad choice. It's gruesome and almost is inhuman to say the least. Now let's get back on track.
Okay so back to me trying to fend off a matriarchal dinosaur for trying to take one of my kids and throw me in the clinker (yes I turned that into a cringe sentence and I truly don't care). She's standing there yelling at me about how crazy I am and that I need to calm down and I yell back at her that she already raised her kids and that she needs to back off of mine. I knew I could've came better but I got stuck. On top of that I wasn't really trying to argue but damn it I will not be disrespected. I standardly explained to her that out of all of the years that I was raising kids in that house she always interfered and that her solutions to anything pertaining to it was dumb. Naturally that made her mad and she judged me for basically having to come back, work, go to school and live on the couch. This naturally made me about four times angry and I am looking at my baby daddy at this pint like "get your parent bro".
It heats up and she then proceeds got tell me the I needed to be drug tested and that I wouldn't win if I tried and took the kids away. At this point I felt entirely put into a corner so I started yelling at her and addressed all the flaws within her family. A few other got into the mix and I talked her marriage being a complete failure and that her nor her husband were ever going to admit that they fell out of love years ago. It wasn't my business to tell but since she wanted to come at such a low standard I figured I could maybe get something good in by the time it called for it. It worked for a little while and it had no choice to because she was running out of things to say and I would say that it was because she want expecting me to have so many comebacks.
Some people figure that I dont argue intelligently and its not even that. I just know when things should be talked about I guess. I could have called her ut of her name several times but I cholesterols to take the lesser of two evils and go at the personal things in her life. I hope she learned form this. Parental hijacking sucks but it happens to a lot of us. However as long as we stay positive and argue efficiently then we can really make something happen. and change to get better parts out of the situation. However be wise this doesn't always work and sometimes a better approach is the way but stay resilient off anything and Guess that the more right?
Okay so I am back with a more personal narrative. Ive been going crazy but I have a lot that I want to get off of my chest. I figured this is best place to do it. So lets jump right in by saying that names and situations will be change and slightly exaggerated to protect the identity of others! Enjoy? Or don't.
Listen, hear me out I have a couple of things that I want to get off my chest...Ive been going crazy all week and even after speaking with a few different perspectives I feel like I haven't gotten down to what's really bothering me. I don't want to think of this as negative, I want to think of it like...clearing the table I guess you could say. I just find myself, in these negative situations with people and I can't understand why sometimes.
For example the most recent situation I was in when my Cat got away (I got him back but still). Image being in the house with your kids and you firstly instruct them as you leave to make sure that the cat doesn't get out. Now in the background add another person their grandmothers friend walking out right before you to go clean out their car. Now naturally you're not going to think anything of it. Now lets fast forward and I am sitting in my car reading, imaging getting a text from your kids father about the dog being gone.
I am not saying that I got mad too early but you have to admit it is entirely frustrating when people disregard what you tell them. I am willing to admit that I let my anxiety get triggered and I responded kind of harshly to the situation I guess you could say. I give him a call and I am freaking out going a million miles an hour I almost had the nerve to get back in the car and just start driving around the neighborhood but I didn't I progressed toward the house by the time I get here he comes outside in a panic explains to me how. He hasn't seen the dog and I simply explained what I saw coming out of the house.
Upon walking into the house I am already yelling at both of the kids about them being irresponsible and letting the dog out. However their rebuttal to the entire situation was that they hadn't left the door open and that a certain someone did. Which they weren't wrong as I mentioned that the friend walked out before me. In a rage I send the kids upstairs. Back outside I start to yell for our little family friend and low and behold I see him sprint up the street from where my car was parked. After all of the drama I end up back in the car sitting there mad.
Why in the world would his moms friend purposely let my dog out. It just didn't make any sense why didn't you let your exes dog out? Im quite sure she's wanted too especially after everything was said and done. Thats another narrative for another day. This is not even the tip of the iceberg. Me and this particular individual have our problems and it ties into the post where I talked about my exes mom taking my car back, "Dude where's your car" is the post title. Go check it out. Anyways this is just the tip of the iceberg. I personally feel like once you screw someone over you shouldn't lie about what actually happened. You shouldn't put someone in a critical situation and then turn around and act like everything is okay.
I can fault myself for not putting my foot down earlier and really talking about how I feel about everything. At the same time why do I have to keep it to myself when the other person is instigating? So that's where Im at, I had to realize that I had to actually comes to terms with how I felt about everything. I felt disrespected, and personally targeted but when I go talk about and express my emotions, it turns into me being crazy every single time. This is only one of many incidents I have yet to really go into to detail about how toxic my living situation is. I have yet to talk about how the negative effects are showing up in my children and I feel like I don't know what to do about it.
Anyways back to me in the car. I calm down and breathe and I call up a friend to vent, the friend that I called is familiar with the moms best friend and they have caught words in the past. The perspective that OI got from it was that I should calm down try to relax and just do my best to stay away from them. I am not going to lie it was kind of annoying to listen to but then again that could just be me being overwhelmed by my emotions. I took it all in stride and I made it and I took a minuet after the talk. I just knew this wasn't going to be the end of it and its not there's another situation that Im going to write about that stemmed from this from but I want to give it a separate narrative.
Me and the moms friend exchanged words and now the tension in the house is even worse. However I am tired of someone running around trying to throw their weight at people. The negativity weighs on my mental health and I am no longer putting myself aside for someone who can't seem to move on to the next phase of their life. I dont feel like a bad person and this situation won't one the last and I handled it a lot better then I would've a few years ago. So here's to us growing as people and working on our inner demons.
continuation coming soon....