Hey all! I just want to start off that this is going to be one of my more serious posts because for the last few months I have been struggling as well as a lot of other people in my life. So I figured the best way for my readers to get more comfortable with me on a human level is too really dish out the problems that I have as a human as well. So here goes.
These last few weeks have been especially rough for me. The reason being is from time to time I suffer from dysphoria. Now for those of you who don't know what that is let me break it down, its not quite like depression in a sense where I am extremely sad, but more so extremely dissatisfied with life. Weather it be with my living situation, job, family friends. I can have dysphoria about all of these things. My dysphoria doesn't leave me in my room crying though. It just leaves me uncomfortable and not fully able to engage in all of these things. Its like I am on autopilot and I'm going through the motions.
It is hard for most people to understand because they confuse it with depression. They don't understand the out of body feeling that I get when it comes time to do these things. I always feel like I am on the outside of myself looking in. It's terrible and not too mention I'm having a crisi with my sexuality. That's a whole different spectrum to be discussed. I mostly want to touch on Dysphoria.
Some days are harder then others but I know I can make it for the simple fact that's I have gone through these stages before. The bout lasted for 2 years. I'm still in recovery but no counseling. So I'm really thankful for everyone out there who supported and is supporting me through this intense time.
Be sweet to everyone you never know who's carrying a dark cloud.
肇👯
Real life happens, I guess you could say its the order that it happens that makes the magic.
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Friday, July 28, 2017
What do you mean I can't trade my car????
Here I go being stupid again. Thats just because no one told me when I got a car loan that I was practically selling my soul away to car I wasn't going to want in the future. Had I known this I would've picked a car I wanted in the future or something like that.
Let me take you all up to speed because I left of with my car looking great body work wise. You know that whole month in the shop did the car wonders. Now keep in mind lack of communication will mess you up no matter where you are and what you're doing. For example no one told me that some auto body shops carry mechanics and others don't. Do we see where I am going with yet I hope so because thats exactly where I landed myself with 5500 worth of body work Ann a shit ton of mechanical errors. See I didn't know that until like a few weeks after I had my car back and it drove like the back end of a fish.
So I figured I just needed to align it like last time (keep in mind that's what the mechanic also said), so here I go all Willy bully to go get it aligned one day. The worst part is I was feeling really good about myself I even got the shitty back tires that were showing wires changed. So I real life thought I was extra smart. Now that was until he lifted the car up in the air, just to bring it right back down in 2min. Next thing you know he's motioning me back to the car, sigh this is usually where my life gets into major bullshit. Therefore it didn't help when he was trying to explain to me what on earth and axel beam was. It did get to a point where he had to show me a picture.
Naturally I fixed it because like. I want to add that it wasn't easy and I awkwardly had to drop a ton of money that had a slight dent in it, you know because my life always seems to work out like this. However I was confident that, that had to be the only fix right? Not according to my steering wheel that was so tight I inadvertently gave myself tendonitis, as a disclosure it healed on its own with major levels of ibuprofen (sorry liver!). Remember the first accident where I ended up hitting a divider? Well the same impact on the opppsite side so that called for a new rack and pinion that I had to venture out to Sacramento for!!!
The problem was before we got to this step my steering gave out in the middle of a drive one day. Well a middle of an intersection to be exact. I was almost sure another accident was going to come my way but I got lucky. That's what motivated me to get the rack mostly. The annoying thing was it open the door too 6 other expensive problems that I wasn't about to deal with. So I parked my car and dawned on my options, which were pretty close to none of you ask me. So I figured fuck it I'll trade it in, online made it sound so easy so I figured why not. Now here I go being an idiot again and it was awful considering that after paying 5,500 worth of body work my car was only worth 4,000. Feel free to check the numbers again because yes you did read that right.
I rose hell at the dealership. I loved my car but it was black hole in my pockets and I wanted something different with speakers. Even if it was a weird looking Yaris that didn't have half of the features that my Prius did. I figured it would be worth it at the time. Again here I go being stupid again and not knowing how car stuff works. All this stems from me not being able to get a Tesla but that's another story. What I will say is learn about things like equity, and being upside down because I didn't do my research right and trading in your car is very difficult if you fall under one or two of those categories. Also do your best not to act like a spoiled teenager because people trade in their cars all the time and that they won't let you do it. Take a breather.
It's been a few weeks but I can't tell if it was because of my attitude or just the fact that they couldn't actually do it is the reason I didn't walk out of there with the car they tried to get me into. So I guess now it's up to me to make the best out of a bad situation as in let this car eat out of my pockets until it's satisfactory or just just put money aside for a regular car it's hard to say. However I'm doing my best in this life and I need the world to bear with me. While I cry my heart out over this. (I'm absolutely not kidding) hey a wise man once said honesty is the best policy right? So here to it.
If you are going to get trapped in a car loan do your research or better yet save your soul and DONT. IM STUCK WITH THIS CAR FOR 5 years so just keep my experience in mind :)
Let me take you all up to speed because I left of with my car looking great body work wise. You know that whole month in the shop did the car wonders. Now keep in mind lack of communication will mess you up no matter where you are and what you're doing. For example no one told me that some auto body shops carry mechanics and others don't. Do we see where I am going with yet I hope so because thats exactly where I landed myself with 5500 worth of body work Ann a shit ton of mechanical errors. See I didn't know that until like a few weeks after I had my car back and it drove like the back end of a fish.
So I figured I just needed to align it like last time (keep in mind that's what the mechanic also said), so here I go all Willy bully to go get it aligned one day. The worst part is I was feeling really good about myself I even got the shitty back tires that were showing wires changed. So I real life thought I was extra smart. Now that was until he lifted the car up in the air, just to bring it right back down in 2min. Next thing you know he's motioning me back to the car, sigh this is usually where my life gets into major bullshit. Therefore it didn't help when he was trying to explain to me what on earth and axel beam was. It did get to a point where he had to show me a picture.
Naturally I fixed it because like. I want to add that it wasn't easy and I awkwardly had to drop a ton of money that had a slight dent in it, you know because my life always seems to work out like this. However I was confident that, that had to be the only fix right? Not according to my steering wheel that was so tight I inadvertently gave myself tendonitis, as a disclosure it healed on its own with major levels of ibuprofen (sorry liver!). Remember the first accident where I ended up hitting a divider? Well the same impact on the opppsite side so that called for a new rack and pinion that I had to venture out to Sacramento for!!!
The problem was before we got to this step my steering gave out in the middle of a drive one day. Well a middle of an intersection to be exact. I was almost sure another accident was going to come my way but I got lucky. That's what motivated me to get the rack mostly. The annoying thing was it open the door too 6 other expensive problems that I wasn't about to deal with. So I parked my car and dawned on my options, which were pretty close to none of you ask me. So I figured fuck it I'll trade it in, online made it sound so easy so I figured why not. Now here I go being an idiot again and it was awful considering that after paying 5,500 worth of body work my car was only worth 4,000. Feel free to check the numbers again because yes you did read that right.
I rose hell at the dealership. I loved my car but it was black hole in my pockets and I wanted something different with speakers. Even if it was a weird looking Yaris that didn't have half of the features that my Prius did. I figured it would be worth it at the time. Again here I go being stupid again and not knowing how car stuff works. All this stems from me not being able to get a Tesla but that's another story. What I will say is learn about things like equity, and being upside down because I didn't do my research right and trading in your car is very difficult if you fall under one or two of those categories. Also do your best not to act like a spoiled teenager because people trade in their cars all the time and that they won't let you do it. Take a breather.
It's been a few weeks but I can't tell if it was because of my attitude or just the fact that they couldn't actually do it is the reason I didn't walk out of there with the car they tried to get me into. So I guess now it's up to me to make the best out of a bad situation as in let this car eat out of my pockets until it's satisfactory or just just put money aside for a regular car it's hard to say. However I'm doing my best in this life and I need the world to bear with me. While I cry my heart out over this. (I'm absolutely not kidding) hey a wise man once said honesty is the best policy right? So here to it.
If you are going to get trapped in a car loan do your research or better yet save your soul and DONT. IM STUCK WITH THIS CAR FOR 5 years so just keep my experience in mind :)
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
The dogs days are finally OVER!!!!
This is it everyone the final chapter to my last days at Amazon. Now in this I am also going to introduce my new job in very vague details because that deserves a post all of its own. So here we go.
I am going to place my self in the shipping dock where we last left off. After Eduardo happened to ruin my transfer and what not. I was pretty pissed to be honest with you. So I decided to take all that hate and rn it off as I unloaded trucks tirelessly for the next nine hours. Can I mention that he grouped me with the worst people ever none of them could lift. Like Zero. Nada. Zip. Goose eggs. The box had to be empty for them to pull down from the top of the truck.
Even palletizing became a headache because while I was in the truck busting my mediocre ass. They all stood around and talked about their husbands or possible sex interests. I didn't fall into that category nor did I have any relatable content aside from Jake. I wasn't spilling that because he was my own personal story. Like a dirty secret if you will. Things with Jake were wild on the side but unfortunately that content is for a post in the future.
ANNNNNNYYYYWAAAYYYSSS, I am in the truck throwing boxes feeling like a mad woman. So I mad I didn't notice this box I had my hands on read "Two person lift" in a big red sticker on the side, so what did I do. I used all what little strength I had to pull the box down and whoops it was too late when I noticed the sticker. I twisted my knee in the worst way possible and felt things no decent human being who barely works out should feel. The people outside were too busy talking to notice, so I shook it off with tears flooding my eyes. Until about two hours later when the pain had gotten so bad I had to go suck up my pride and go limp over to Eduardo who awkwardly was the only one at the desk.
Trust me I waited around the corner for like 20min but no one came. Not much came out of it except a "go home see a doctor and come back". Considering he was a manager I took what he said and his 3yrs experience as a manager and I went home. To find myself waiting tirelessly at an Urgent care because I dint think it was serious enough for me to waste my life in the E.R. Plus they have free candy can you blame me? The diagnosis after failing some weird knee test was that I had two torn ligaments and that I needed and MRI and only real hospitals give those. So what did I do?
I took my doctors note and limped out of there and went on a medical leave just because I talked the doctor into giving me three weeks off. It was weird being back in my bed after already having time off but I enjoyed it as I sulked in my misery. It wasn't really fun considering I couldn't walk so that was a damper in my plans. Things seemed to go fine until I went to check my schedule to see if it was still blacked out for my time off considering at this point in time it was time for me to go back in less then 4 days.
I never got and MRI so I gave myself 3 extra weeks which the leave team approved but it turns out my schedule told me I was in the negative of 150 hours because my 3 extra weeks weren't approved. When I called the leave team they weren't much help except that they went from a medical leave to a personal one to back cover my hours which didn't work because HR denied it thanks too me signing my soul away to all those write ups.
Did I mention this went on with me in the negative and with HR leading me on for like a month? No? Or how about the part where Edward actually quit in the time I was under my blanket and couldn't walk? Chaos had ensued at this point because HR day and Night didn't know what to do except reassure me that I wasn't getting fired just yet. Key words peeps, key words. At that point I could walk and I felt invincible. AZ was gone at this point so I had too hold my own at this point boy was it tough with all the speculation, and gossip. People would make fun of me and tell me that I was getting fired at that point.
Plus Jason had permanently moved to day shift but his ceremony was a flop. Nobody cried and wrote his name all over the brag board like they did AZ. So I guess you could say that was my own personal revenge. I finally felt free and also really scared of my new manager Clarabelle. I ducked her for like two weeks and it turns out she was really cool the first go around until she started getting on me about my hours. It didn't help to hear stories about her turning on other people. She was with me when I made my final trip to the HR office. That visit was intense due to the fact that I found out that nobody even knew I had gotten hurt because Edward never submitted any workers comp claims.
There I was screwed all over again even after he had departed. At that point HR kind of hinted at me that, that might have been the end of the road. However good thing I was starting up the process to get my new job. So this time around I wasn't really scared of anything and I took my last few days like a champ and awkwardly stopped coming to work every time I lost my badge. I was negative hours anyways so who cared if I went too work. I used the last of my personal time to leave early and one day to go in and put in yet another personal leave.
Now as I am in Starbucks writing a post and drinking a very tasty frappe I receive a phone call from HR. She gave me the spiel about how I was out of options and there was nothing they could do blah blah blah. I was left with two options: "resign or termination". Lucky for me an e-mail from my new job popped up with my start date so with that being said...I quit and I am never looking back. I slept better that night and with my new job on the way life was still pretty shitty but hey I am working my up to a better ending.
I just wanted too add that two days before I ran into Casey..............and my ex crush. What a perfect time to get out of that place.
I am going to place my self in the shipping dock where we last left off. After Eduardo happened to ruin my transfer and what not. I was pretty pissed to be honest with you. So I decided to take all that hate and rn it off as I unloaded trucks tirelessly for the next nine hours. Can I mention that he grouped me with the worst people ever none of them could lift. Like Zero. Nada. Zip. Goose eggs. The box had to be empty for them to pull down from the top of the truck.
Even palletizing became a headache because while I was in the truck busting my mediocre ass. They all stood around and talked about their husbands or possible sex interests. I didn't fall into that category nor did I have any relatable content aside from Jake. I wasn't spilling that because he was my own personal story. Like a dirty secret if you will. Things with Jake were wild on the side but unfortunately that content is for a post in the future.
ANNNNNNYYYYWAAAYYYSSS, I am in the truck throwing boxes feeling like a mad woman. So I mad I didn't notice this box I had my hands on read "Two person lift" in a big red sticker on the side, so what did I do. I used all what little strength I had to pull the box down and whoops it was too late when I noticed the sticker. I twisted my knee in the worst way possible and felt things no decent human being who barely works out should feel. The people outside were too busy talking to notice, so I shook it off with tears flooding my eyes. Until about two hours later when the pain had gotten so bad I had to go suck up my pride and go limp over to Eduardo who awkwardly was the only one at the desk.
Trust me I waited around the corner for like 20min but no one came. Not much came out of it except a "go home see a doctor and come back". Considering he was a manager I took what he said and his 3yrs experience as a manager and I went home. To find myself waiting tirelessly at an Urgent care because I dint think it was serious enough for me to waste my life in the E.R. Plus they have free candy can you blame me? The diagnosis after failing some weird knee test was that I had two torn ligaments and that I needed and MRI and only real hospitals give those. So what did I do?
I took my doctors note and limped out of there and went on a medical leave just because I talked the doctor into giving me three weeks off. It was weird being back in my bed after already having time off but I enjoyed it as I sulked in my misery. It wasn't really fun considering I couldn't walk so that was a damper in my plans. Things seemed to go fine until I went to check my schedule to see if it was still blacked out for my time off considering at this point in time it was time for me to go back in less then 4 days.
I never got and MRI so I gave myself 3 extra weeks which the leave team approved but it turns out my schedule told me I was in the negative of 150 hours because my 3 extra weeks weren't approved. When I called the leave team they weren't much help except that they went from a medical leave to a personal one to back cover my hours which didn't work because HR denied it thanks too me signing my soul away to all those write ups.
Did I mention this went on with me in the negative and with HR leading me on for like a month? No? Or how about the part where Edward actually quit in the time I was under my blanket and couldn't walk? Chaos had ensued at this point because HR day and Night didn't know what to do except reassure me that I wasn't getting fired just yet. Key words peeps, key words. At that point I could walk and I felt invincible. AZ was gone at this point so I had too hold my own at this point boy was it tough with all the speculation, and gossip. People would make fun of me and tell me that I was getting fired at that point.
Plus Jason had permanently moved to day shift but his ceremony was a flop. Nobody cried and wrote his name all over the brag board like they did AZ. So I guess you could say that was my own personal revenge. I finally felt free and also really scared of my new manager Clarabelle. I ducked her for like two weeks and it turns out she was really cool the first go around until she started getting on me about my hours. It didn't help to hear stories about her turning on other people. She was with me when I made my final trip to the HR office. That visit was intense due to the fact that I found out that nobody even knew I had gotten hurt because Edward never submitted any workers comp claims.
There I was screwed all over again even after he had departed. At that point HR kind of hinted at me that, that might have been the end of the road. However good thing I was starting up the process to get my new job. So this time around I wasn't really scared of anything and I took my last few days like a champ and awkwardly stopped coming to work every time I lost my badge. I was negative hours anyways so who cared if I went too work. I used the last of my personal time to leave early and one day to go in and put in yet another personal leave.
Now as I am in Starbucks writing a post and drinking a very tasty frappe I receive a phone call from HR. She gave me the spiel about how I was out of options and there was nothing they could do blah blah blah. I was left with two options: "resign or termination". Lucky for me an e-mail from my new job popped up with my start date so with that being said...I quit and I am never looking back. I slept better that night and with my new job on the way life was still pretty shitty but hey I am working my up to a better ending.
I just wanted too add that two days before I ran into Casey..............and my ex crush. What a perfect time to get out of that place.
Monday, July 24, 2017
The dog days arent over part 2: Is it over yet?
Alright you guys here is the next part of the tale when it comes to my final days enduring the misery of Amazon. I know I chickened out at the end of that last post but I feel like I redeemed myself a little bit.
Alright so there I was on a leave of absence like a huge loser but hey I didn't have another job so getting fired wasn't in my best interest at the time. Besides going on leave was the worst idea I ever had because I fell behind money wise and I spent a lot of my days ridden with anxiety if I was going to get fired and have to forfeit my car. It was pretty cool though I got to collect myself and be a human again and not some robot crunching the numbers for some mega corporation.
The best part of the job was the people there, they always kept me updated on what was going on too some degree and if I should walk back into the fire or stay under my blanket and cry. Well I held my head high and cried the whole car ride back to that place. Now I want all of you to keep in mind that my car was still in the shop at the time so I had to hitch a ride with my ex's little brother. (AWKWARD MUCH), the whole car ride was me blasting my awful music and crying. This went on for like two weeks need I remind you.
I remember walking into the place with such a panic. In fact when I swiped my badge to get in I got denied and slowly turned around and tried to inch my way back to the car until the security had swiped his badge to let me in so he could fix it. I hated myself and all I wanted to do was run and hop on the train next door and get off in the next state and build a new life from there. At least...that's what I was thinking the whole time the security guard had me waiting. The worst part was I was late because of it so instead of following the huge crowd of people coming in I had to take the walk of shame and sneak up in the back of the group.
Just to be caught in the middle of an announcement that AZ the greatest manager on the face of the earth was leaving. My heart dropped but I hung in there as they explained the new manager who was going to be taking over his shift. Keep in mind I am in the back with people whispering and ogling me from afar. However it was those same people who gathered around me to tell me that they thought "I got fired" because of what had happened with Travis. I think that was the first time I actually felt cool. It took me back to the days when I use to hang with Casey. Although all the speculation was making me too neevous for my own good. I told them everything humanly possible about the entire situation but of course everyone backed Jason in telling me that I'm always getting in trouble and that it finally caught up to me. Good thing I didn't sit and eat lunch with these people if you ask me.
I did have that one good co-worker friend Elsa who understood and she always came timely with the advice so that was always a plus. The only thing was I would have to go without her when it comes time to Face Jason on Thursday. It wasn't that bad I casually hid in the back and asked someone to check the board and let me know my coordinates in the factory. Like any average employee the best part was we avoided eachother like the plague especially when it came time to get my feed back for the week. AZ stood for the workers who were mistreated under management so losing him felt like the las nail in my coffin at the time. Things got better by the end of those two weeks. It was AZs last day and I finally felt regular at work. Until that Friday when I turn the corner and I see Eduardo sitting at the desk, I was walking back drom the other side of the warehouse hoping to get placed in the docks that day.
Do I even have to add the fact that transfers closed in two days. Now Eduardo knew that and he know it so well he decided to hit me with 3 weeks worth of write ups that his buddy Jason convieniently didn't issue. Ironically the one about time off task was atop of the list and it took everything in me not to spill the fact that I had a miscarriage the same day I was going through all that nonsense (thanks Jake it was your baby btw). I didn't say anything because that ended up being a display in the HR office in what we call a seek too understand so you know no need to open another can of worms. I swallowed my pride and I signed my soul (and my transfer) to the other write ups because I was held accountable for quality. It was a dark day. Eduardo smiled his smile and shipped me off too the docks as if he just saved the world. Ironically there was talk of him leaving but I ignored it why would that asshole want to leave when he's so good at ruining things and upsetting the balance. Now the crazy part of this story is what happened that day in the docks but that will have to wait :) till the next post lol sorry guys I have to spread out the good stuff.
Alright so there I was on a leave of absence like a huge loser but hey I didn't have another job so getting fired wasn't in my best interest at the time. Besides going on leave was the worst idea I ever had because I fell behind money wise and I spent a lot of my days ridden with anxiety if I was going to get fired and have to forfeit my car. It was pretty cool though I got to collect myself and be a human again and not some robot crunching the numbers for some mega corporation.
The best part of the job was the people there, they always kept me updated on what was going on too some degree and if I should walk back into the fire or stay under my blanket and cry. Well I held my head high and cried the whole car ride back to that place. Now I want all of you to keep in mind that my car was still in the shop at the time so I had to hitch a ride with my ex's little brother. (AWKWARD MUCH), the whole car ride was me blasting my awful music and crying. This went on for like two weeks need I remind you.
I remember walking into the place with such a panic. In fact when I swiped my badge to get in I got denied and slowly turned around and tried to inch my way back to the car until the security had swiped his badge to let me in so he could fix it. I hated myself and all I wanted to do was run and hop on the train next door and get off in the next state and build a new life from there. At least...that's what I was thinking the whole time the security guard had me waiting. The worst part was I was late because of it so instead of following the huge crowd of people coming in I had to take the walk of shame and sneak up in the back of the group.
Just to be caught in the middle of an announcement that AZ the greatest manager on the face of the earth was leaving. My heart dropped but I hung in there as they explained the new manager who was going to be taking over his shift. Keep in mind I am in the back with people whispering and ogling me from afar. However it was those same people who gathered around me to tell me that they thought "I got fired" because of what had happened with Travis. I think that was the first time I actually felt cool. It took me back to the days when I use to hang with Casey. Although all the speculation was making me too neevous for my own good. I told them everything humanly possible about the entire situation but of course everyone backed Jason in telling me that I'm always getting in trouble and that it finally caught up to me. Good thing I didn't sit and eat lunch with these people if you ask me.
I did have that one good co-worker friend Elsa who understood and she always came timely with the advice so that was always a plus. The only thing was I would have to go without her when it comes time to Face Jason on Thursday. It wasn't that bad I casually hid in the back and asked someone to check the board and let me know my coordinates in the factory. Like any average employee the best part was we avoided eachother like the plague especially when it came time to get my feed back for the week. AZ stood for the workers who were mistreated under management so losing him felt like the las nail in my coffin at the time. Things got better by the end of those two weeks. It was AZs last day and I finally felt regular at work. Until that Friday when I turn the corner and I see Eduardo sitting at the desk, I was walking back drom the other side of the warehouse hoping to get placed in the docks that day.
Do I even have to add the fact that transfers closed in two days. Now Eduardo knew that and he know it so well he decided to hit me with 3 weeks worth of write ups that his buddy Jason convieniently didn't issue. Ironically the one about time off task was atop of the list and it took everything in me not to spill the fact that I had a miscarriage the same day I was going through all that nonsense (thanks Jake it was your baby btw). I didn't say anything because that ended up being a display in the HR office in what we call a seek too understand so you know no need to open another can of worms. I swallowed my pride and I signed my soul (and my transfer) to the other write ups because I was held accountable for quality. It was a dark day. Eduardo smiled his smile and shipped me off too the docks as if he just saved the world. Ironically there was talk of him leaving but I ignored it why would that asshole want to leave when he's so good at ruining things and upsetting the balance. Now the crazy part of this story is what happened that day in the docks but that will have to wait :) till the next post lol sorry guys I have to spread out the good stuff.
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Alcohol and poor choices
Remember that one time you got so drunk you fucked your exs' best friend or so thats what everyone is telling you. No? Or do these things only happen to me? Yeah thats exactly what I thought.
Where do I begin? Lets start at the fact one night I went to the bar with my ex his best friend Earl and Earls crush Daisy (who for the record states I really didn't like but thats gonna be in the later paragraphs. So where was I? Oh yeah the bar, now we get there and everything was cool. We hung out like this every weekend because of Karaoke night but on this particular night a birthday party was going on se we figured why not join in what could go wrong? I need you guys to keep in mind I wasn't a drinker but Daisy was and she felt the need to egg it on as did the guys when they caught on.
Now Daisy throws her money on the bar and stands on the stool and screams "SHOTS ALL AROUND" of course the whole room cheers wildly, at this point I was nervous but hey I can hang with he best. So Daisy pulls me to the side and hands me two shots of Vodka and tells me to take her on one by one. She kinda got on my nerves so I figured maybe if I play along she will go away. She downs the two shots like its nothing while I sit there sipping the first one. I was feeling pretty intimidated but everyone was singing loud and dancing so I didn't want to ruin it. I held my breath and downed the shots. Everything sucked in its entirety but she wanted to keep going. Next thing you know she's got 16 shots lined up, all I could think was "this girl is gonna give me alcohol poisoning" I played along though.
She finished her line and cheered me on for mine, I was buzzing pretty bad at this point so I dint really notice the taste. However I do remember her asking me if I was drunk yet every five minuets but I did my best not to jump to conclusions. I was totally out there, to a point they had to pick me up and carry me to the car because I couldn't hold my liquor. I remember us coming home and for some reason dicing to make enchiladas, that seemed to be Daisys idea and she insister her and my ex go together to get the supplies. I was still pretty out there so I continued to lay there on the couch until Earl decided to haul me up the stairs into my room. I remember my stomach being sick and the room spinning. It was a moment like that, that made me never want to drink again in my entire life.
I was pretty close to sleeping when daisy barged into my room, super irritating I was just like what on earth could this moron want now. For some reason she calls herself undressing me and asking me why I didn't get comfortable yet. I was dozing in and out and I really didn't pay her any mind as long as I didn't have to move everything was great.I remember everything after that going blank as I slept happily on my bed now I comes at 2 am I hear Earl banging Daisy in the shower I guess he had one too many as well.
Now I wake up the next morning with a hangover from hell and I find Earl snoring right next to me. I fall out of bed in a panic as I jumped to wake him up. Oddly enough he was telling me to breathe something I couldn't do because neither of us could remember if we did anything or not, he gets up and makes his way to the door and who conveniently is standing outside of it?!?! You guessed it Daisy.
Well guess who's life got even more stupid after that. Yup you guessed it. Now I was a homie hopping drunk who likes to cry about their life in the middle of the street. At least according to Daisy who bitched me out about sleeping with her crush, and my ex who ironically had no reason to be mad considering me and him slept with his ex but you know all is fair in alcohol, crushes, and war.
Moral of the story be careful who you drink with some of them might intentionally set you up with their crush just to make you look bad.
Where do I begin? Lets start at the fact one night I went to the bar with my ex his best friend Earl and Earls crush Daisy (who for the record states I really didn't like but thats gonna be in the later paragraphs. So where was I? Oh yeah the bar, now we get there and everything was cool. We hung out like this every weekend because of Karaoke night but on this particular night a birthday party was going on se we figured why not join in what could go wrong? I need you guys to keep in mind I wasn't a drinker but Daisy was and she felt the need to egg it on as did the guys when they caught on.
Now Daisy throws her money on the bar and stands on the stool and screams "SHOTS ALL AROUND" of course the whole room cheers wildly, at this point I was nervous but hey I can hang with he best. So Daisy pulls me to the side and hands me two shots of Vodka and tells me to take her on one by one. She kinda got on my nerves so I figured maybe if I play along she will go away. She downs the two shots like its nothing while I sit there sipping the first one. I was feeling pretty intimidated but everyone was singing loud and dancing so I didn't want to ruin it. I held my breath and downed the shots. Everything sucked in its entirety but she wanted to keep going. Next thing you know she's got 16 shots lined up, all I could think was "this girl is gonna give me alcohol poisoning" I played along though.
She finished her line and cheered me on for mine, I was buzzing pretty bad at this point so I dint really notice the taste. However I do remember her asking me if I was drunk yet every five minuets but I did my best not to jump to conclusions. I was totally out there, to a point they had to pick me up and carry me to the car because I couldn't hold my liquor. I remember us coming home and for some reason dicing to make enchiladas, that seemed to be Daisys idea and she insister her and my ex go together to get the supplies. I was still pretty out there so I continued to lay there on the couch until Earl decided to haul me up the stairs into my room. I remember my stomach being sick and the room spinning. It was a moment like that, that made me never want to drink again in my entire life.
I was pretty close to sleeping when daisy barged into my room, super irritating I was just like what on earth could this moron want now. For some reason she calls herself undressing me and asking me why I didn't get comfortable yet. I was dozing in and out and I really didn't pay her any mind as long as I didn't have to move everything was great.I remember everything after that going blank as I slept happily on my bed now I comes at 2 am I hear Earl banging Daisy in the shower I guess he had one too many as well.
Now I wake up the next morning with a hangover from hell and I find Earl snoring right next to me. I fall out of bed in a panic as I jumped to wake him up. Oddly enough he was telling me to breathe something I couldn't do because neither of us could remember if we did anything or not, he gets up and makes his way to the door and who conveniently is standing outside of it?!?! You guessed it Daisy.
Well guess who's life got even more stupid after that. Yup you guessed it. Now I was a homie hopping drunk who likes to cry about their life in the middle of the street. At least according to Daisy who bitched me out about sleeping with her crush, and my ex who ironically had no reason to be mad considering me and him slept with his ex but you know all is fair in alcohol, crushes, and war.
Moral of the story be careful who you drink with some of them might intentionally set you up with their crush just to make you look bad.
Thursday, July 20, 2017
The dog days arent over just yet
We seen me last struggling at Amazon under poor management, high school cliques and under appreciation. It was tough but I all fairness I was more then prepared to be screwed over one more time. In my hopes that it would be the last time.
Did I mention that my previous manager Eduardo was out to get me in his final days? Now the beef with him was that he only catered to girls who bat their pretty eyelashes and make suggestive comments. Casey (was that a given). I went through so many write ups and so many HR visits with me having to explain that walking 20min to the bathroom wasn't good for my time off task. However because HR and managers always seemed to be in on it with each other I was always at a loss. I fought long and hard though I fought dirty (not really).
The big thing with Eduardo was that he liked to screw up my transfers I guess that's what I can be thankful for in my opinion he wasn't really shit otherwise. Now let's fast forward to the point where Eduardo goes to help out on Day shift. Something which I was really excited about. Especially since his really cute gullible best friend who everybody loves takes over. Jason is what we are calling him for this narrative, well let me tell you that Jason turned out to be a Joe at first and then somehow turned into a fucking nightmare. It was like day after day people were getting away with things I never thought possible. Hours of time off task, socializing through the entire night, going to the break room and hanging out, not making quota. Hell he wasn't even giving feedback most of the time. It was fucking wild.
In the midst of it all the greatest manager alive to ever walk this earth was planning on leaving and that put my job in danger but before I have to tell that unfortunate story lets talk about Jason and his transition too cool beer hat guy to a fed up underdog. After weeks of not getting feedback and me following the crowd and taking my time with my job it turns out Jason had it out for me and only me. The worst conversation we had about time off task landed me and him in a debate especially since other people weren't getting in trouble due to the fact that they were catering to the fact that he was misunderstood. Something I didn't really sympathize with considering he was Eduardo right hand and Eduardo was really popular among the peers.
Everyday he would pull up to my station with his beady little eyes and pull up the big ugly chart on his computer. The worst part was he wouldn't even start with my feedback for the week. He would only start with my unproductive fuck ups and it was the worst feeling in the world because I liked Jason and I thought I would never have to see the day where he would end up turning on me. At the worst time too. I remember getting sick at work one night something like a period from hell which was odd because I hadn't had a period that bad in almost two years thanks to my IUD. I was bleeding so profusely that I spent a good portion of the night hiding away in the bathroom in pain.
I literally felt like I was dying but the problem was that I dint exactly have the hours to go home. Yeah thanks a lot Amazon. I thought the night was going figure itself out and that maybe I wouldn't have to answer to Jason anymore at least for this one night where I'm having a really bad night at least. I did the best I could to shave down my time and try to keep as focused as I could but a 10hr shift while you're hemorrhaging of course your main focus is going to be NOT DYING. I did make it though unfortunately my time did night as I tried to sneak out too my car Jason made sure at that moment he would be posted by the exit. He waited there tapping the table just waiting too pull me aside so he can show me the chart.
"We need to talk about your time" after that I sort of zoned out because all I could hear was my heart beating in my ears. I couldn't get fired not just yet at least. However the time told on me, 141 minuets. The worst part of it was I went from intimidated to throwing all my cards in. I was tired of getting bullied So I told him what had been going on the whole night and why my time was so high. It wasn't good enough for him as he was going to submit a review for termination no matter what happened that night. We had stayed an extra 30 min arguing he even decided to call in some of his minions to back him up for terminating me.
I however was all alone, so I told him do whatever he wants but I'm leaving. I stormed off through the metal detectors and all that coward had to say to me way "you can't run from this you know". It still rings in my ears to this day. What did I do then? I did what anybody would do. I took a leave of absence for a month and avoided the whole thing like a loser. Yeah sounds like a bitch move I know but hey I was buying myself time until I could get out of that hell hole.
When I come back is when things get really crazy. So consider this a cliche "To be continued type of things"
Did I mention that my previous manager Eduardo was out to get me in his final days? Now the beef with him was that he only catered to girls who bat their pretty eyelashes and make suggestive comments. Casey (was that a given). I went through so many write ups and so many HR visits with me having to explain that walking 20min to the bathroom wasn't good for my time off task. However because HR and managers always seemed to be in on it with each other I was always at a loss. I fought long and hard though I fought dirty (not really).
The big thing with Eduardo was that he liked to screw up my transfers I guess that's what I can be thankful for in my opinion he wasn't really shit otherwise. Now let's fast forward to the point where Eduardo goes to help out on Day shift. Something which I was really excited about. Especially since his really cute gullible best friend who everybody loves takes over. Jason is what we are calling him for this narrative, well let me tell you that Jason turned out to be a Joe at first and then somehow turned into a fucking nightmare. It was like day after day people were getting away with things I never thought possible. Hours of time off task, socializing through the entire night, going to the break room and hanging out, not making quota. Hell he wasn't even giving feedback most of the time. It was fucking wild.
In the midst of it all the greatest manager alive to ever walk this earth was planning on leaving and that put my job in danger but before I have to tell that unfortunate story lets talk about Jason and his transition too cool beer hat guy to a fed up underdog. After weeks of not getting feedback and me following the crowd and taking my time with my job it turns out Jason had it out for me and only me. The worst conversation we had about time off task landed me and him in a debate especially since other people weren't getting in trouble due to the fact that they were catering to the fact that he was misunderstood. Something I didn't really sympathize with considering he was Eduardo right hand and Eduardo was really popular among the peers.
Everyday he would pull up to my station with his beady little eyes and pull up the big ugly chart on his computer. The worst part was he wouldn't even start with my feedback for the week. He would only start with my unproductive fuck ups and it was the worst feeling in the world because I liked Jason and I thought I would never have to see the day where he would end up turning on me. At the worst time too. I remember getting sick at work one night something like a period from hell which was odd because I hadn't had a period that bad in almost two years thanks to my IUD. I was bleeding so profusely that I spent a good portion of the night hiding away in the bathroom in pain.
I literally felt like I was dying but the problem was that I dint exactly have the hours to go home. Yeah thanks a lot Amazon. I thought the night was going figure itself out and that maybe I wouldn't have to answer to Jason anymore at least for this one night where I'm having a really bad night at least. I did the best I could to shave down my time and try to keep as focused as I could but a 10hr shift while you're hemorrhaging of course your main focus is going to be NOT DYING. I did make it though unfortunately my time did night as I tried to sneak out too my car Jason made sure at that moment he would be posted by the exit. He waited there tapping the table just waiting too pull me aside so he can show me the chart.
"We need to talk about your time" after that I sort of zoned out because all I could hear was my heart beating in my ears. I couldn't get fired not just yet at least. However the time told on me, 141 minuets. The worst part of it was I went from intimidated to throwing all my cards in. I was tired of getting bullied So I told him what had been going on the whole night and why my time was so high. It wasn't good enough for him as he was going to submit a review for termination no matter what happened that night. We had stayed an extra 30 min arguing he even decided to call in some of his minions to back him up for terminating me.
I however was all alone, so I told him do whatever he wants but I'm leaving. I stormed off through the metal detectors and all that coward had to say to me way "you can't run from this you know". It still rings in my ears to this day. What did I do then? I did what anybody would do. I took a leave of absence for a month and avoided the whole thing like a loser. Yeah sounds like a bitch move I know but hey I was buying myself time until I could get out of that hell hole.
When I come back is when things get really crazy. So consider this a cliche "To be continued type of things"
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Back from Hiatus PSA
Hello all! guess who is back from Hiatus!! That's right i'm sorry for kind of ditching like that but life was getting really out of control but I am glad too announce that I am back now and here's what's too come in season two of my life out of order:
- Adulting Fails
- More car trouble
- Ex and his disaster of a family
- Good old Jake (he just wont leave)
- The trouble with finding a girlfriend
- More horror stories during my last days at Amazon
- New Job excitement
- New friends
- Awkward encounters
- New Crushes
- More chapters to Some things never change
- AND WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF (the rest of the world probably considers crap but I am for sure writing it down)
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